Personal propensity produces progress

The proportion personal propensity has on one’s success in life is the most surprising thing I have learned this semester. Through service, literature and my own self-discovery, I have come to realize that although circumstance and connections do play a large role in one’s outcome, it is a person’s inner drive that is the true deciding factor in achievement.

This semester I was granted the privilege of watching the Guilford Elementary Middle School children grow as students, young-adults and citizens. Their minds filled with facts I was able to not only witness the preservation of this knowledge, but the true understanding that is achieved through excellent education. These students, over the course of only 3 months, have matured from hyper adolescents to poised peers willing to assist their teacher and fellow students, even after their designated school day has commenced. Most of all, I have watched as these students, who were dealt a poor hand, not only escape the stereotypes associated with inner city schools, but go above and beyond completing a so-far undefeated National Academic League season. These students have thus out performed many charter schools in their league, proving that it is not where one grew up that counts but instead how hard one will work to achieve their goals.

Before Thanksgiving break, the Guilford students competed against Hamden Elementary Middle School, the first away tournament I attended. The students at Hamden were predominantly white from what appeared to be blue-collar families, the norm for a Hamden family. The Guilford students were given their toughest fight at Hamden Elementary Middle but came through in the presentation round with a jaw-dropping performance that, whether the students recognized it or not, was wise beyond their years. The presentation quarter of a National Academic League competition is conducted as follows: both teams are given a hypothetical situation, a side to argue, and a box of resources, which will assist in the research process. After about an hour, the students present their arguments to a panel, which scores them on the content and delivery of the presentation. At the Hamden competition the topic was over-spending on American pets through the use of clothing, spas, manicures and cosmetic surgeries. The Guilford team chose to present second, a strategic move in terms of motivating ones’ team to really out perform the previous presentation. However, Guilford’s argument was not one of economics nor priority as one would assume; instead the 6^th, 7^th and 8^th grade Guilford students presented a legal case based on the principle that the average dog in Baltimore has a better quality of living than the average black man. They supported their case further with the results of recent court cases in which Michael Vick, the football player turned dog murder, was sentenced to a longer prison term than a local off duty cop convicted of murdering a black man. The topic made the air stand still as I once again realized that the situations and experiences I have undergone vary vastly from that of these students, who in the 21^st century, are still faced with the reality that their fathers, brothers, uncles and even themselves, are arguably given less equality than a pet. This third quarter round in the Hamden Elementary Middle School cafeteria presented a truism I will remember for the rest of my life.

This situation could have been greatly uncomfortable for me (a white girl from a tiny middle class town) however, in the spirit of breaking this injustice presented by my young scholars, I instead used this opportunity to see the similarities. I personally was never at the top of my class as a child; math tutoring, reading lab, retaking science tests and hundreds of spelling flashcards were all necessary and instrumental parts of my childhood, as my friends played and I was forced to study in order to achieve the grades that came so naturally to them. I recognize my counter part in the Guilford students, as although they are extremely intellectually gifted, they also have to fight to achieve greatness. As reiterated in Twelfth Night, "some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them." Although many may view the idea of greatness as something innate, I conclude that this is not true; the most surprising thing I learned this semester was how important personal drive is to success. If anyone disagrees, I challenge them to meet a Guildford student- for it is at this school just down the street on York Road, that even the most considerable obstacles are overcome to achieve greatness.

"The College Experience"

Going into college, everyone says the same thing. Everyone says, “The next four years are going to be the best four years of your life.” It does not matter if this phrase is being repeated by your mom who interprets the phrase academically or from your crazy uncle who is most definitely talking about partying and alcohol. Regardless of the context in which it is said, they all have the same meaning. College is about growing up and experiencing new things, things I rarely experienced as a child who went to school with the same kids since the age of four. Never did it ever cross my mind that when registering for Dr. June Ellis’ Understanding Literature class, would I enroll in a class that truly embodies “the college experience.”

The hands on, discussion based environment of the classroom was something I was skeptical of at first. I am a very quiet person. I learn from watching. This means I carefully listen to every word the instructor says, and let my classmates take part in the trial and error that is participation all while I jot down my notes in my sacred notebook. Looking at the syllabus, this customary strategy would not go over well with my final grade. While it took time to adjust, I like to believe that I became comfortable sharing my opinion in class. Me opening up to this idea of change is something I like to think is apart of “the college experience.” With college brings change, and here I was learning that I have to adjust to stay alive (figuratively of course), a valuable life lesson.

Not only did EN101.17 surprise me by allowing me to become comfortable with change in the classroom, but as a person. As I discussed in my bus/museum paper, I feel like the environment and schooling I endured as a child sheltered me from the real world. For example, I was terrified for the bus/museum project. I was convincing myself every weekend to put it off, put it off! By the end of that day, I could only laugh about how stupid and ignorant I really was. I can truthfully say that that was my “turning point” if you will. The class again took me by surprise as it transformed me from a kid uneasy with the unknown to a kid at ease and comfortable with his surroundings. This means that it took a hands-on and innovative classroom experience to help me grow up. By forcing me to take part in activities I was almost scared of, my fears were conquered.

Week after week it surprised me more and more about how much learning I was doing. I’m not talking about being “textbook smart,” but “street smart.” What class teaches you that? There is a reason why I eagerly showed up for every class this semester. Poetry and hands-on discussions were never my forte. I was more of the quiet, here is what we are learning, so memorize it and repeat it on a test kind of student. Going deeper within my thoughts and myself was something that I did not fare too well in during my freshman philosophy class. I’ll blame that one on the teacher, as now looking back over this semester, I feel extremely confident in any situation I find myself in, no matter how deep we get. The class also surprised me of how capable I am of doing work like this.

Much to my surprise, Understanding Literature was my favorite class this semester. Now this is not just being said because you are going to read this later today, but I am saying this with all sincerity. It took a wakeup call in the form of a poor midterm grade to open up to what the class was trying to teach me. As I failed to initially realize, it was more than poems and short stories, but deep within them were lessons in which I had to learn, and I am proud to say I did.

Imperfection is Beauty

Despite the fact that I attended the Global Oneness Banquet over a month and a half ago, the event, geared to raise awareness of hunger throughout the world, has stuck out to me more than a starved, homeless child’s ribs. I was not sure what to expect; all I was told was that I should dress up and come hungry. I spent half the day getting ready, doing my hair and makeup and picking out a nice outfit. An hour before I was to be at the banquet, my cheerleading coach called me to announce that he was holding an impromptu practice in the next few minutes. Apparently my excuse of attending the banquet was not good enough to excuse me from my college varsity sport duties. I was expected to practice, go to the banquet, and then return to practice afterward. I had to strip from my beautiful, carefully picked out outfit and sprint to the gym, ruining my hair and makeup in the process. I angrily put up a few stunts, getting further sweaty, and more agitated. Finally, I was excused so that I could run up a few more flights of stairs to the fourth floor programming room to attend the banquet before having to return to practice, again.

At this point, I figured it was pointless to change back into my nice outfit just to change out of it once more. Hence, why I showed up to the banquet, panting, hair in a messy ponytail, wearing workout clothes and lacey stockings underneath. To top it all off, I was told that I would be seated at the nice tables. At first, I thought that might be a good thing to get some sort of special treatment. I was in desperate need of some good news. To my dismay, I found out that this would be the subject of envy and evil glares. Since I was in rare form that night, instead of thinking like I usually would have in this situation—about the poor and how everyone should help them out—I had a different thought process. I felt some empathy for the Donald Trumps out there.

It is not fair to always blame the top dogs. It is often through hard work that those people have gotten to where they are. Of course there are some people who have gotten their money through unjust means. There are also people who have gone to school for an extra amount of time, worked hard, and through their efforts, they have achieved success. It is not fair to place those people into the category of corrupt and evil just as it would not be fair to place all of the poor people of the world into the category of lazy no-goods. Sure, some people are homeless through no fault of their own and it is due to some bad luck. There are also people who have made bad choices and through their own laziness they have gotten to where they are today—homeless on the street.

Before I start saying bah humbug, I would like to point out that I did not miss the whole message of the event. Prior to attending the Global Oneness Banquet, I understood the importance of being compassionate to the less fortunate. Instead of reiterating the same, trite things as everyone else who attended the event, I wanted to give the true underdogs a chance to get their voice heard. The “top dogs” are so well-to-do that people never consider that they could be the underdogs, too. That is exactly what makes them the underdogs, the ones for whom absolutely no one is rooting. The poor people of the world have the Church and various charities rooting for them. With God on their side, they should not need much more help. After all, if they are not rewarded on earth, they are supposed to have an eternity of rewards in Heaven.

At the banquet, the speaker mentioned that, “When we experience oneness, we feel in the gut and in the heart that we are part of something beyond ourselves, that there is harmony and meaning in life, and that every human being and every aspect of existence is uniquely valuable. We live oneness through respect, compassion, cooperation, and creativity, which naturally support the most fundamental needs of life.” If that is the main message that was supposed to be taken from the event, then it should have been more clear that, while helping out the poor, no one should discriminate against the rich. That would defeat the whole purpose of oneness. The Dove ad shown in class shows that there is no such thing as perfection. Since there is no such thing as a perfect person, no one should fault others for common mistakes. The rich should not turn their cheek to the poor, and the poor should not scold the rich for having wealth.

In Shakespeare’s play, Measure for Measure, one line stated, “They say, best men are moulded out of faults,
and, for the most, become much more the better
for being a little bad.” Interestingly enough, the heroes in the play are just as flawed as the villains. One of the most interesting things that I learned through the events and readings is that it is through people’s imperfections that they learn the most, and that is what shapes them to be the heroes they are.

In the novel, Shane, the character, Shane, though he looks dangerous and the Starrett family does not know much about him, they are willing to give him a chance, no questions asked. Though he does have a rocky past, he looks past it in order to help the family for whom he has grown affectionate. Through the biggest act of self-sacrifice, he is willing to risk his life and go back to his old ways in order to help benefit the family. Shane was hardly perfect, yet he more than lives up to the expectations that the family had for him. In his past life he may have been seen as a villain, yet to the Starrett family, he is a hero.

There is never going to be a human who is entirely perfect. Therefore, common mistakes are bound to happen. In order to reach oneness, it is important to be forgiving and to think of everyone as equals. All people should be shown respect—people of all ages, races, genders, and economic statuses. Once there is no longer room for discrimination in the heart, then there will only be room for compassion, and that is the first step to reaching Global Oneness.

Death and the Maiden: Exploring the Role of Marian Art in Medieval Execution

On November 29^th, Rosie Miola, a member of the class of 2011 at Loyola, held a lecture regarding two paintings of the Virgin Mary and their relationship to Medieval Execution, which relates to The Cask of Amontillado. While the lecture described how people were publically executed and how the paintings of Mary led them into eternal life with Christ, in The Cask of Amontillado the main character is haunted for his entire life my person he killed. Ultimately, the lecture and the short story give the reader two results of murder and death, allowing us to see how they would like to live their life.

In the lecture, Rosie described the two paintings of Mary, drawn on tabletas, influences anyone who sees them, and directly leads them to eternal life. These two paintings were created by Fra Angelico in the fifteenth century. The people who lived during this time period were very accustomed to public executions, especially hangings. This was a typical punishment for anyone who was arrested for treason or theft, meaning there were a lot of executions. People who were executed had to walk a long way up to the place where they would be killed. On the this way, religious members would hold up these tabletas, revealing the face of the Virgin Mary to the person. It was ultimately the last thing they saw before they were killed. The reason they were shown this was so that there last vision would be of Mary and therefore they would be closer to Christ. Because of this, they ultimately would be closer to heaven. This idea brings about the good idea of death, where a person would enter heaven. Because of the paintings, the person sentenced to execution would be able to Christ when he dies.

In The Cask of Amontillado, a different type of death is portrayed. The main character ends up luring a man into a cellar, convincing him there is rare wine at the end. After luring him deep enough, the man locks him in the cellar, where he eventually dies. The main character is ultimately haunted for the rest of his life because of what he did. This is the complete opposite of the lecture, as the last image before death leads them into heaven. In The Cask of Amontillado, the man hears the laugh of the man he kills. He feels awful about what he did, and believes he was wrong in doing it. Ultimately, the lecture and The Cask of Amontillado bear two different cases of feelings about death.

In other news, the question of what was the most surprising thing I learned from class this semester was posed. I think that the most surprising thing I found out was everything that goes on campus. When I came here, I was not sure what would be going around the school. Because of this class, I found out about all the events going out, all the plays, and all the community service plans. Without the class, I would not know about anything going on campus. Ultimately, the most surprising thing I learned was about all the things going on around the campus of Loyola.

The Pillow Man and Persepolis (I hope we're not graded on the creativity of our titles)

Last Sunday I attended the Loyola Poisoned Cup Players production of The Pillowman By Martin McDonagh. Prior to attending I had no idea what the play was actually about, all I had heard was that it was a dark comedy. While there was some sarcastic humor thrown in occasionally to give the audience a laugh, I certainly would not consider this play to fall into the comedy category at all. I definitely did not expect it to be as dark as it turned out to be. The basic premise of the play was that due to his upbringing a young man writes very twisted stories in which children typically die in horrific ways. The author’s younger, and retarded, brother does not believe the plausibility of his stories and decides to test out if young kids can really be killed in the ways in which his brother describes in his stories. We find out in the play that the retarded brother ended up killing a number of young kids, replicating what was done in the stories, and both are brought in for questioning by a police and a detective.

One of the main themes that I got out of this play was that life sometimes will provide you with unfair circumstances. As a background story to what goes on in the play, the parents of the two boys decided to do a sick experiment on them. They wanted to test out whether or not disturbing noises heard by the older brother while sleeping would change his style of writing to be more disturbed too. To create the disturbing noises for seven years they beat the younger brother, causing him to scream and such. These beatings are what also caused him to end up being mentally retarded as well. As children at the time, the two boys never asked for (or would even want) what came to them, they were just dealt a dreadful fate in the game of life. The play even ends on the note of solidifying the idea of life being unfair. Before the detective is about to shoot and kill the author she tells him she is going to count to ten to give him ten seconds to pray before he dies, although she counts to four and then shoots.

This theme I also found to be prevalent in the book Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi. Persepolis is about a girl growing up during the Islamic revolution. Throughout the book there are many unfortunate happenings to Marjane and her friends and family. While many bad things happen to different people in the book, they are never to blame for what happens to them. In the beginning of the book all of a sudden Marjane’s life gets turned upside down. She now has to go to a new school, where the girls and boys are not treated equally, and the girls have to wear veils. She didn’t choose for any of this to happen to her. No one ever chooses to grow up in a bad place during bad times; it’s just how life is.

Two vignettes in this book that stuck out to me that highlighted this theme where that of Marjane’s maid and that of her friend Ramin. Marjane’s maid was in love with their neighbor, although sadly they couldn’t be together because they weren’t of the same social class. Although it wasn’t Marjane’s maids fault for being born into a certain social class. Being born into a certain social class isn’t something you can help, it just happens, it is just an unfair circumstance you can’t change or do anything about in life. In the case of Ramin his dad killed people. None of this was Ramin’s fault as he couldn’t control the actions of his dad. Although because of unfair circumstances he was thrown into a pool of hatred by his classmates at school.

In both the play and this particular book judgments were passed about all of these characters for their unfortunate life circumstances. Marjane’s maid wasn’t acceptable as a love interest just because of her social class. She was judged without the boy she liked even getting to know her. Ramin as well was judged for his father’s actions, which he really had no part in. In the play the detective and policeman thought the author to be extremely demented without even knowing his history. Also while watching the play the audience judged the policeman to be an extremely cruel and soulless person for no reason. It wasn’t until the end that we learned our judgments were wrong when we learned of his past. Overall the most surprising thing I’ve noticed this semester is that judgments are everywhere. Everyone is always passing judgments and it’s really just a part of our human nature. Regardless, even if this is so I’ve come to be in agreement with the statement that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. Judgments should really try to be avoided without knowing people or their back stories.

Sexual Ethics: An Assessment of Happiness and Well-Being

Tonight, I went to the “Sexual Ethics” talk featuring our president, Father Linnane. While my decision to go was based primarily on my interest in learning about the various issues that are attached to sexual ethics, I was also quite excited to hear Father Linnane speak. I had only heard Father Linnane speak two times before this occasion – once at an Accepted Students Day, in which we greeted us with a humorous speech, and during our class convocation. I have always found Father Linnane to be an engaging and scholarly speaker, but I have never been exposed to his perspectives on any controversial topics such as sexual ethics. Furthermore, although this event’s setting emulated a regular college class – a traditional lecture hall packed with dozens of students – Father Linnane’s prepared arguments on sexual ethics made the lecture enjoyable, captivating, and illuminating.

As I walked into Knoll Hall B03, I did not expect to see the hundred or so students seated. I quickly found a seat, sat down, and waited intently for the event to begin. Eventually, Father Linnane began his lecture – he started off by sharing an anecdote that revealed an enlightening experience he had in Florida while visiting his parents. Years ago, Father Linnane went to Florida to visit his parents during the college breaks, and during this time, he attended mass (in this specific story, Father Linnane attended an Easter vigil). In this mass, the priest advocated that Easter is ‘a time of repenting of sins,’ but he cited homosexuality as a clear moral evil and sin. This angered Father Linnane, who (after mass) challenged the priest’s views. To this end, Father Linnane expressed to us that homosexuality is not a moral issue, nor is it a moral evil. Moreover, he made note of the suicides of several homosexual students earlier this year, stating that their sexual orientation did not justify the treatment that they suffered from their peers. Personally, I thought that homosexuality was a big topic to tackle in just a few minutes, but Father Linnane seemed to break down his explanations simply, giving us all a new perspective on the issue.

Next, Father Linnane posed the question of “what constitutes a sexual relationship?” One by one, students began to conjure up ideas that seemed to form the foundation of an ideal sexual relationship – respect, commitment, trust, mutual understanding, consent, and good will, maturity, and love. While Father Linnane agreed with all of these concepts as sufficient underpinnings to a sexual relationship, he warned us that sexual relationships could be manipulative and unjust. One sentiment that particularly stuck with me was that in a sexual and loving relationship, your partner must be (from a first-person perspective) “the most important person in my life, and for whom I will be the most important person.” Without a doubt, I wholeheartedly agree with this view. Personally, I think that one’s lover should be someone who is not just an object of one’s sexual attraction, but rather the recipient of a genuinely affectionate and loving bond. In my mind, the enchantment of love itself should supersede any sexual urges. As expressed by Shakespeare, one cannot falsify true love – to do so would undermine the innocence that shapes love as such a powerful emotion.

On a separate note, to my surprise I’ve found that I have really enjoyed reading short stories this semester. In my opinion, a short story is the perfect medium of expression – while it may not possess the precision of a poem or contain the descriptive inner-workings of a novel, short stories tend to capture a satisfying balance that its two counterparts cannot achieve. Moreover, Edgar Allan Poe – one of my favorite authors – effectively sums up the appeal of a short story. He writes,

“And by such means, with such care and skill, a picture is at length painted which leaves in the mind of him who contemplates it with a kindred art, a sense of the fullest satisfaction…this is an end unattainable by the novel. Undue brevity is just as exceptionable here as in the poem; but undue length is yet more to be avoided” (excerpt from Poe’s Hawthorne Review).

Here, I completely agree with Poe. Short stories are a wonderful amalgam of a novel and a poem – for example, Poe’s Cask of Amontillado contains long, descriptive passages, but depicts strongly emphasized tones of insanity, guilt, and darkness, which cause it to be as widely interpreted as any poem. Therefore, while I have appreciated the many novels and selections of poetry we have analyzed this semester, I still contend that short stories are the ultimate form of literary art.

An Excellent Beginning

This semester I have attended so many great literary events that have broadened my mind and my interests. We are lucky to have these opportunities that allow students to grow and learn outside the classroom setting. I have learned to reach out and explore new things that I normally wouldn’t. They have inspired thought and encouraged me to attend more in the future.

I attended a performance of The Pillowman by a gifted group of actors from The Poisoned Cup Players. This theatre company is a completely student-run. I was astounded by the amount of talent that these students displayed in their acting and the creativity of the show. The Pillowman is a dark comedy about a writer Katurian Katurian whose gruesome stories are suspiciously similar to a string of child murders that have occurred recently in the town. Katurian’s grim imagination was caused by hearing his younger brother being tortured throughout his childhood. After he found his brother, Michal, he killed his parents and became his brother’s guardian. The torture caused Michal to have mental disabilities or to be as Katurian says, “slow.” The play takes place at the police station where a police officer and a detective question Katurian. They are convinced he was the murderer because the three murders are exactly like the ones in three of his stories. When they left him alone in the room with his brother, Katurian found out that Michal was the one who committed these crimes. Since he knew they were both going to be executed, Katurian decided to kill Michal in a more humane way while he was sleeping. He killed his brother the same way he killed his parents: suffocation using a pillow. Katurian tried to take the blame for all six of the murders, but the detectives didn’t fully believe him. When they asked how the third child died, Katurian answered incorrectly and was forced to admit that his brother killed the children. Though Michal acted out two of Katurian’s most violent stories, the third story was a pleasant one with a happy ending. Katurian didn’t expect this, so although it blew his cover, he was happily surprised that his younger brother acted out his favorite story. The police officer shot Katurian but saved his true meaning for living: his stories.

The main character, Katurian, reminded me of Shane in Jack Schaefer’s novel, Shane. They both have endured troubling experiences in their past that shape they way they are now. Shane protects the Starretts and treats them like a family he probably never had. He risked his life several times in order for them to live peacefully and without controversies. Katurian killed his brother so he could die in peace rather than be scared and confused. He proceeded to take the blame for all the murders because he knew his brother did not mean any harm. They were both heroes who tried to escape their past but it regrettably caught up with them.

This semester I found that the best things I’ve done are things I wouldn’t ordinarily have done. I thoroughly enjoyed events that I have attended for this class. For example, seeing Measure for Measure was a once in a lifetime experience because the American Shakespeare Center performs their plays in a much different manner from other theater companies. However, I may not have gone if I didn’t require a literary event for the blog. Now I know that it is better to “seize the day” and experience life to its fullest.

These events have lived up to and beyond my expectations. They have been enlightening and informative. I was nervous for the museum trip but I found that there was no need to be. It was a pretty simple procedure and so many friendly people helped us out. I had never heard anything about The Pillowman and had no idea what it was about. The play was so interesting and exciting that I am still raving about it to my friends and family (two weeks after I saw it). The Global Oneness Banquet opened my eyes to the issues of poverty that are very prevalent in today’s world. The lecture on Social Justice in Education by Dr. Noguera informed me about the problem of the huge gap between social classes and education. I feel more well-rounded after attending these events and writing a blog on them forces me to reflect and appreciate what I have just learned and experienced.